Bittersweet visit

Yesterday we spent the day in Dayton visitng D's mom and dad and his Mamaw. Recently, we found out she had 2 tumors in her brain. This morning she underwent surgery which was a success and the surgeon feels he got all the tumors, but we wait to see how she'll be when she wakes up. They were cancerous, so they went ahead and gave her some chemo already. Yesterday was sad and happy. It was wonderful to visit with Mamaw and D's family, and seeing Mamaw with the boys was wonderful. However, on the way home, we both cried when we talked about it. It seems like this has been a hard year, and it's not often I think in depth about mortality, but neither of us wanted to leave when it came right down to it.

I'll keep you update as to how everything's going. I took lots of pictures as well and will post some.

Jack is a trooper!

Our appointment today was frustrating and good. We got there 15 minutes early which I thought was an accomplishment, but they made us wait and wait. Jack couldn't eat for 4 hours prior so I had timed it perfectly...so eventually I caved and had to start feeding Summy. D came from work and sat with me and fed Summy, and finally at noon (our appt was 11:40) I got up and told them they'd better take us b/c Jack was getting frantic hungry, and we couldn't wait any longer. They took us back and the tech and doc told me they'd been waiting for us too and it made me even madder. I guess they had to print labels and that was what took so long...you'd think the info'd be current from them being in the NICU 2 mos. prior. ARGH!

Jack was so cute, he wore a tiny baby hospital gown with pigs on it. He ate the barium down fast and it was really neat to watch on the screen. All in all everything looked AOK, and there were no herniations or pyloric stenosis. Good news! The doc was a little concerned about him barfing up 9 am meds at 3 pm, but said everything looked good. He didn't reflux (I gave him the am Prevacid dose) and the doc later told me I wasn't supposed to, but no biggie. We already know he refluxes.

So good news. I'll be interested to see what the GI doc says. No word yet on when that appt. will be.

Thoughts on preemiedom

So I've been doing a little reading of other preemie mom blogs. You'll notice some new links on the left. I've been thinking about the ramifications of the 22 week sextuplets born in the last week or two, and the other set as well. It's articles like this http://www.abcnews.go.com/Health/story?id=3286009&page=1 at ABC News questioning selective reduction and infertility treatments that make me question myself again. Could I have made it past 32w 4d with the boys if I hadn't had infertility treatments or used injectibles? Did that cause my placental abruption?

I feel a lot of anger sometimes. anger at strangers who tell me how "little" my boys are. Anger that I feel like no one can take care of my boys like I can. Worry that their caregiver in the fall won't have the energy time or patience for 1 hour or more feedings. Frustration at my husband for his sometimes short temper when dealing with said feedings. Anger at myself for not letting him have his very understandable feelings. Anger at doctors for not doing more for them in the NICU. Worry about what the future with preemies will bring. anger at friends who told me that I just needed to "keep trying" to get pregnant, and who told me "of course I wouldn't be having them early." Anger at myself for not listening to my body more. Anger that even though I feel like I did a lot of things right, my boys still came out early.

And the above article makes me wonder: did I not have a right, or should I have not persued infertility treatments because I was 27 years old?


The Morrison sextuplets: (3 surviving) http://morrison6.com/
The Masche sextuplets: http://www.maschemiracles.com/

The Gosselin's: http://www.sixgosselins.com/ (You might have heard of them from the t.v. show Jon and Kate Plus 8)

Announcements!

Take a look at the announcements Erin http://www.dfmidesigns.com/ made for us...coming soon to a mailbox near you!

Pray for Jack and Mamaw

Jack's got an upper GI study scheduled for Wednesday at 11:40 am.

David's Mamaw has brain surgery to remove 2 tumors scheduled for Sunday at 7:00 am.

Professional Pics, part 2

Rachel did an excellent job with the boys pictures! Too cute. To view our gallery, go to http://www.finelinesphotography.com/ and under "your session" type "tater." Enjoy!

4 month stats

Sorry to be a day late! Our fourt month stats:

Sumner

11.63 lbs (11 lbs, 10 oz) 4th percentile....woo hoo! We're on the charts!
24" long (21st percentile)
16.25" head (21st percentile)

Jack

9.75 lbs (9 lbs, 12 oz) We're not on the charts yet
23.5" long (11th percentile)
16" head (21st percentile)


We discussed Jack's feeding again and will go next week for an upper GI study, and then to a GI doc in 3-4 weeks, whenever they can get us in fastest. We talked about Jack not being very hungry, and how he threw up his 9 am meds at 3 pm, and our pedi agreed we need to check him out.

I'll be posting 4 month and Rachel's pics soon!

Also, tonight is our first time out alone...Aunt CC and Uncle Mike are watching the boys!

Reglan

I forgot to add: we are now one week reglan-free for Jack! He hasn't thrown up in one week either! Good news!

Pictures and Therapy issues

Hello all!

We had more pictures done with Rachel http://www.finelinesphotography.com and they turned out really wonderful! I can't wait to post some as soon as she is finished loading our gallery. It was a beautiful day, and while the boys didn't smile as much as I wished they would, they cooperated by mostly staying awake!

In other news, we are really frustrated with our attempts to get feeding therapy for Jack through the state. Our evaluation in April got stalled by some people who weren't doing their job, and only a phone call to the governor's office last week by me got anything moving. Unfortunately, we are stuck again, this time at the county level. Jack's been waitlisted through our local county board of MRDD for his therapy...no idea how long the wait will be...right now I am waiting for calls back from numerous people. I am so frustrated that it is this hard to get therapy for a low birth weight child who is having trouble gaining weight! It's sad and scary. I'm angry because it makes me wonder what happens to my tax dollars when I can't even get help for my infant son...who can't speak for or defend himself! So difficult!

Yesterday marked the end of my 3 days back at school (2 with kids, one work day.) It was bittersweet to be back: it was lovely to see the kids and my coworkers, but very difficult to be away from the boys. I am nervous to imagine what fall will be like.

Friday is our 4 month appointment with the pedi. I'll post stats here, and give another update then.

slept through the night!

Last night the babies slept completely through the night. We'd done it before, but had to get up to give them their pacis. Last night we didn't get up ONCE!!!