not what I imagined

The meeting was...interesting. Not what I imagined, but it was decided that both boys will be re-evaluated. This is the first step in the direction of them having some plan for next year, our only fear is what kind of plan will that be? There was a lot of discussion of a 504 plan versus an IEP and after reading more about that, I feel very worried. I felt like we went into the meeting with them having decided what the outcome would be already, before the boys are even evaluated, which I don't like.

I had to take Truman in to the pedi yesterday because he had been congested for a few days. While I was in, I set up a meeting with her, and she also referred us to go get a full workup/evaluation on the boys by a psychologist. With a lot of things being thrown around about attention issues, and with Jack's recent outbursts/violent tantrums, we need to get to the bottom of what EXACTLY is going on with both of them. We know they have sensory processing disorder, and Sumner has been diagnosed with generalized anxiety, but we were reminded in the meeting that in the prior evaluation, Sumner came back as PDD-NOS in the district testing, and with all of Jack's fine motor and coordination issues, we want to make sure we are seeing the whole picture.

So, in all honesty, the last 24 hours have been totally overwhelming and frustrating. I would be lying if I didn't tell you that I feel somewhat responsible (even though I know it is ridiculous to feel that way) every time we talk about what is going on with S+J. I wonder how much of what is going on is from their prematurity. I was also pretty angry because I want what is best for them educationally and I want to be heard as a parent. I am hoping that as we undertake the evaluation process, that their needs are truly seen and that they won't be discounted just because they are cognitively so ahead.

As for Truman, he had gained a pound in just over two weeks! At the appointment, he was 8 lbs 10.5 oz!

fear.

Tomorrow morning we sit down with the "team" to discuss re-evaluation of the boys for IEPs in kindergarten. This is something David and I both want very badly and so I am hoping it goes smoothly, and we are met with minimal resistance. If all goes to plan, they will be re-evaluated in February and we'll reconvene in March to discuss if they re-qualify and then to re-write their IEPs again. (We JUST wrote new IEPs two weeks ago.)

Jack has yet to meet his IEP goal for the last 3 years of correctly holding his pencil, even with 3 years of intense OT. He's made great strides, but I know from my own childhood experience that it will be an uphill battle for him if he cannot continue services. We're also worried about what all-day kindergarten will look like for him, as he still naps 2 hours a day.

Sumner's shown great improvement with fine motor but will definitely still need social/emotional support and accommodations for sensory as we look towards kindergarten. We're hoping that diagnoses from both his pediatrician and psychologist will help the district see our concerns.

Obviously with SPD not in the DSM, we cannot use "sensory processing disorder" as a reason to have the boys on IEPs.

I'll update you more after our meeting on Monday.

perspective

Getting this off my chest...

Some things I wish I could shout:

-No, I don't want to hear how my baby is a peanut
-No, I don't want your opinion on whether I should consider another one
-No, I don't need to hear your advice about raising my kids

Some things I am thinking internally:

-Should I consider filling the prescription for meds for PPD?
-Is Truman too little? (Added stress b/c as the person feeding him, I feel responsible)
-Is Truman on track developmentally? Will he have SPD? (I think this anxiety comes from having preemies and CONSTANTLY looking for them to reach milestones, etc.)

Thanks for letting me vent. I know some of it is irrational, but I need to get it off my chest.

Professional Pictures!

We were blessed that a friend, Alison Janki, was able to take newborn pictures of Truman. Alison and I used to work together , as she taught kindergarten (at the school I teach at) when I first started. She did an AMAZING job taking pictures of Truman, these are just a few. To see more of her amazing work, be sure to check out her blog and website.

2011 year in review

January

February

March

April

May

June

July

August

September

October

November

December

1 month old

Friday the 13th was lucky for Truman because he turned 1 month old! Our appointment at the pediatrician went well, and we found out Truman's growing great. He weighed 7 pounds at birth, had dropped at 6 lbs 6 oz in the hospital, was 6 lbs 10 oz at our followup pedi appointment, and was 7 lbs 10 oz at his month appointment. She was very pleased with a pound in 3 weeks. She told us (me) that we could start relaxing on waking Truman to eat all the time. I enjoyed sleeping 6 hours straight last night! I feel a ton better because of it! Truman's been struggling with breastfeeding and our pediatrician told me it probably is because he's not hungry every 3 hours, and we need to wait longer. Sure enough, she was right, and already he nursed better last evening than the whole month combined!

I continue to be a dairy farm and have been working hard to keep my crazy milk supply in check. I've had mastitis once and thrush once, so hoping to keep the ta tas reigned in and calmed down. After feeding Truman, I'm pumping between 24-30 oz a day. I plan to donate to the milk bank again, like I did with the boys.

Look for year in review pics of the boys and an update on me soon! Happy 1 month, Truman!