Sunday, August 20, 2006

OK, last post for today...

I'm going to get you caught up on the nitty-gritty until now.

So, ever since I was 12 I've been on BCPs for what my OBGYN thought was endometriosis. I was told, even from a young age, that I would need to think about having kids before I was 30. I've always wanted kids, but put it to the back of my mind, as a husband/feeling it was the right time in my life would have to come first.

Fast forward to winter, 2005. David and I met and were married 6.19.04 and were settling in to married life. I'd always said "4 years before a baby!" because I wanted to enjoy married life for a while, without the interruption of a baby. But babies were starting to look cute, and I could hear the voice in my head chanting..."must have babies before 30..."

So we went to my OBGYN in March, 2005 to talk about TTC. I went off BCPs, but was told we had to wait 2 cycles to start trying. I cahrted those 2 cycles to get an idea of how my body was reacting. It was certainly funky.

June 2005 was exciting: we were TTC! It was scary, strange, and of course, I thought I'd end up pregnant immediately...we're always taught from sex ed that ANY unprotected sex=baby...right?

By October, I was worried. No +s, and my charts were looking funky. I took them to the OBGYN and she agreed, and started me on Clomid, a fertility drug. Newfound fears of quintuplets filled my mind, but I was already starting to feel the desperation. Why wasn't it working yet? Was the Dr. right? Had I waited too long? What if I couldn't have kids.

5 Clomid cycles later, we had no more answers. A sperm analysis, HCG, (a painful test to see if the tubes are blocked) and an endomtrial biopsy later, everything looked normal. My OBGYN washed her hands of us, and told us to see a reproductive endocrinol0gist. We were infertile.

5/17/06 we went to Ohio Reproductive. After going through our history, and tests, Dr. K told us we had "unexplained infertility," a cruel diagnosis meaning no one knew what was wrong. From the looks of everything, we should have been PG. And even more bad news: insurace covered NOTHING. Thankfully, I found out through that Ohio mandated testing coverage. After much consideration, we decided I should go in to have laproscopic surgery to zap out the endometriosis we believed was there. 6/12/06 I went in for surgery. They found nothing.

I was heartbroken. And confused. Now I wondered: did I want to get PG because I was ready, or because I thought I HAD to do it ASAP. I didn't have much time to think...the next plan of action we had decided on was a medicated IUI, or interutarine insemination. I would get daily shots, administered by David, with a large "trigger" shot to induce ovulation once my follicles measured large enough. We would then go and David's sperm would be "washed" and the fastest swimmers inserted via catheter. Lovely. Exactly the scenario I imagined would get me PG.

So we trained on shots. And everyone who knows me knows how much I love shots. I responded slowly and so I had 15 days of injections. I almost felt sorrier for D because he had to put up with my blubbering. My abdomen looked like a dalmation: rashes and bruises from injection sites. We had 900.00 worth of donted meds, or the cycle would have been EXTREMELY expensive. It was our one shot...due to $ costs, Dr. K thought only one round would make sense, as the success rates were so much higher with IVF.

I remember my fear 7/16 when I sat in the waiting room. 12 other couples were there that Sunday. Our success rate: 14%. I laughed when it was over: if only it had all been that easy! I didn't feel a thing. We laughed together: the timer Dr. K set for me to know when to get up had a sperm on it. How appropriate. We were so nervous...

7/29 I got my BFP. We were at D's parent's house and we tested one day before we'd told everyone we were going to, just so we could have some time to digest the news. I had a feeling I was pregnant. All these symptoms I'd never had...still, the feeling when I saw the + test...scared, overwhelmed, excited, awed. This is what I wanted, right?

We took a digital the next day (Sunday) and told D's parents, and my mom, who we then left to go spend 4 days with in NC, as the second leg of our vacation.


Sometimes it still hasn't sunk in. I'm starting to get more excited, but I keep thinking...what if? I can't imagine meeting this little person who is going to be half of us. I'm so scared, nervous, and hopeful. The journey has only just begun...

1 comment:

hopefuls #1 said...

Reading your story bring me so much hope!