Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Thoughts on preemiedom

So I've been doing a little reading of other preemie mom blogs. You'll notice some new links on the left. I've been thinking about the ramifications of the 22 week sextuplets born in the last week or two, and the other set as well. It's articles like this http://www.abcnews.go.com/Health/story?id=3286009&page=1 at ABC News questioning selective reduction and infertility treatments that make me question myself again. Could I have made it past 32w 4d with the boys if I hadn't had infertility treatments or used injectibles? Did that cause my placental abruption?

I feel a lot of anger sometimes. anger at strangers who tell me how "little" my boys are. Anger that I feel like no one can take care of my boys like I can. Worry that their caregiver in the fall won't have the energy time or patience for 1 hour or more feedings. Frustration at my husband for his sometimes short temper when dealing with said feedings. Anger at myself for not letting him have his very understandable feelings. Anger at doctors for not doing more for them in the NICU. Worry about what the future with preemies will bring. anger at friends who told me that I just needed to "keep trying" to get pregnant, and who told me "of course I wouldn't be having them early." Anger at myself for not listening to my body more. Anger that even though I feel like I did a lot of things right, my boys still came out early.

And the above article makes me wonder: did I not have a right, or should I have not persued infertility treatments because I was 27 years old?

The Morrison sextuplets: (3 surviving) http://morrison6.com/
The Masche sextuplets: http://www.maschemiracles.com/

The Gosselin's: http://www.sixgosselins.com/ (You might have heard of them from the t.v. show Jon and Kate Plus 8)


Liz said...

(((hugs))) I think you have done everything you possibly can do! You've been through a lot in the past few years. I'm sure it's hard to not blame yourself, but at the same time, they were there for 32 weeks. Just think; it could've been worse and you'd deliver earlier. As for the fall...they've got the summer to hopefully become better eaters. I'm sure they'll do great at the sitters :) Big Hugs Meghan!!!!!!

Miracles said...

I share the exact same issues of anger with you. Your so not alone on this one. I even get angry at times when I see women who are pregnant, and especially when they complain that they just want it over with. I would have done anything to keep my babies inside of me as long as possible. They don't realize how short a time it really is being pregnant, and how long a journey it is in NICU.
My girl's had feeding issues as well as your boys. We were lucky enough that everything eventually resolved on it's own with a little help from meds, and some patience on our part.
Glad you found our blog I'll be checking yours often, and I will add you as well.
Your two little blessings are beautiful!!!!

Leanne said...

This is definitly not an easy journey...thanks for sharing.

Aida said...

I just found your blog after reading a post from you on the nest. I just wanted to say that you are doing a wonderful job. My sister had her twins (preemies too) the 19th of February and after quite some time in the NICU they are all doing well. I am sharing your blog with my sister, I am sure she can find your insight very helpful.