Navigating the world of IEPs

It is hard to know what to do.

It is hard to know exactly what to do with an IEP meeting, nevertheless an IEP itself. It is hard to read about your child...strengths, weaknesses, all of it. Inside that small snapshot are a thousand more things you want to say, a million things more you feel the school needs to know, and even more you want them not to. An IEP meeting is like an awkward middle school dance where everyone is a little sweaty and no one wants to touch. Stairway to Heaven, played for what seems like an eternity.

So, we had our IEP meetings for both boys. They went so fabulously. It wasn't anything I did, specifically, but this time we hired an advocate. For us it was super beneficial because it allowed an outside observer to come in and look at the IEPs with fresh eyes, ask questions that I forgot I had asked, and just look at things from a different perspective. She really helped to organize the meeting by working our way through the IEP. Fixing what needed fixed and clarifying things that we didn't understand. I was very grateful.

To say I was nervous was an understatement. Let's be honest: there is no fun in an IEP meeting, probably from all sides. To say it went well feels like getting a breath when you have been under the water too long. This year has been a tough one for our family as a whole, and for our kids specifically. I was thankful it went so well and we left feeling like everyone there was on the same page.

More later this week about how Jack managed to find himself in the lagoon at Magic Mountain. Never a dull moment, I swear! I have made the decision to pick back up blogging again. I am going to try to do better. I think I owe eleven million pictures of Truman!

not what I imagined

The meeting was...interesting. Not what I imagined, but it was decided that both boys will be re-evaluated. This is the first step in the direction of them having some plan for next year, our only fear is what kind of plan will that be? There was a lot of discussion of a 504 plan versus an IEP and after reading more about that, I feel very worried. I felt like we went into the meeting with them having decided what the outcome would be already, before the boys are even evaluated, which I don't like.

I had to take Truman in to the pedi yesterday because he had been congested for a few days. While I was in, I set up a meeting with her, and she also referred us to go get a full workup/evaluation on the boys by a psychologist. With a lot of things being thrown around about attention issues, and with Jack's recent outbursts/violent tantrums, we need to get to the bottom of what EXACTLY is going on with both of them. We know they have sensory processing disorder, and Sumner has been diagnosed with generalized anxiety, but we were reminded in the meeting that in the prior evaluation, Sumner came back as PDD-NOS in the district testing, and with all of Jack's fine motor and coordination issues, we want to make sure we are seeing the whole picture.

So, in all honesty, the last 24 hours have been totally overwhelming and frustrating. I would be lying if I didn't tell you that I feel somewhat responsible (even though I know it is ridiculous to feel that way) every time we talk about what is going on with S+J. I wonder how much of what is going on is from their prematurity. I was also pretty angry because I want what is best for them educationally and I want to be heard as a parent. I am hoping that as we undertake the evaluation process, that their needs are truly seen and that they won't be discounted just because they are cognitively so ahead.

As for Truman, he had gained a pound in just over two weeks! At the appointment, he was 8 lbs 10.5 oz!

fear.

Tomorrow morning we sit down with the "team" to discuss re-evaluation of the boys for IEPs in kindergarten. This is something David and I both want very badly and so I am hoping it goes smoothly, and we are met with minimal resistance. If all goes to plan, they will be re-evaluated in February and we'll reconvene in March to discuss if they re-qualify and then to re-write their IEPs again. (We JUST wrote new IEPs two weeks ago.)

Jack has yet to meet his IEP goal for the last 3 years of correctly holding his pencil, even with 3 years of intense OT. He's made great strides, but I know from my own childhood experience that it will be an uphill battle for him if he cannot continue services. We're also worried about what all-day kindergarten will look like for him, as he still naps 2 hours a day.

Sumner's shown great improvement with fine motor but will definitely still need social/emotional support and accommodations for sensory as we look towards kindergarten. We're hoping that diagnoses from both his pediatrician and psychologist will help the district see our concerns.

Obviously with SPD not in the DSM, we cannot use "sensory processing disorder" as a reason to have the boys on IEPs.

I'll update you more after our meeting on Monday.

Now I know why they have boxes of tissues at IEP meetings

The meeting went really really well. As well as we had hoped. They listened, and because we asked for a draft copy of the IEP ahead of time, we were able to come to the table and suggest changes that they listened to and made. I left feeling very happy, and while D doesn't like to admit it, I think he felt good about it as well.

I am happy because they wrote the boys sensory needs into their IEP, and added them into their goals. They'll also both be getting OT as part of their class time. I feel like the only move from here is up.

We toured their classroom and met their teacher, who was able to sit in for part of the (3!) hour meeting. We got their harnesses for when they ride the bus to school. (Insert hyperventilating here! I am freaked out about them riding the bus, I won't lie!) We got their supply lists. I have to buy my kids their first backpack this weekend! *sob*

Overall, though long and tedious, we did make it to the other side. Thank you for the prayers today. I know they helped.

Now I have to find my inner calm and try not to fall apart when my babies go off to "school" in two weeks!

Breakfast in bed and the night before IEP...

This morning the boys had breakfast in bed. The last few weekends we've been snuggling together in bed in the mornings as a family, and today we decided to let them eat breakfast in our bed. They were SO excited!




Tomorrow morning is our IEP meeting. Tensions are already high and I have this knot at the bottom of my stomach. I want to make sure what we come out with is a document that serves our boys in the best way possible. Even though I am a teacher, sometimes the IEP-ese confuses even me a little. (David feels lost.) It can be really hard reading an outsider's perspective on your children.

Please say a prayer for us tomorrow morning. I'll report back from the other side...