Milestone woes

I feel like the boys babyhood has been thrown upside down in the last week. So far, since school has ended I have:

-moved them to one nap
-taken away their sippies with soft spouts and given hard plastic spout no handle cups
-not given them a bottle anymore b/c they are now only nursing
-been trying to get Jack to walk (he took 4 steps in a row last night!)

I still want to try giving them whole milk to see if they will drink it, and get them to drink milk from a sippy. (They still won't take EBM or anything but water and juice from the sippy.) Also, I am on project walking kids. The daycare won't take them unless they are walking, and so I am completely fixated on their lack of walking.

And I am not ready to stop BFing. I think I am returning my hospital grade pump, but there really isn't a need to have a pump as I can nurse them anytime at home now that I am off for the summer. But I feel paranoid and like I need a pump just in case. I don't know what the "in case" is for, but I worry...so I am thinking about buying a PISA. David and I had a big talk about breastfeeding which led me to cry when he said "they eventually have to grow up." Maybe I am not ready for that? I feel like I will know when it is *right* to stop, and I just don't feel that way yet.

So I spend my days now consumed with the concept that my kids will never walk, and wondering when exactly the right time is to stop breastfeeding them. I am torn...I want them to grow up, but I don't. These milestones seem like big steps towards "growing up."

Lately, the boys seem so much older, more like toddlers than babies. Between Jack feeding Summy yesterday, both of them taking "phone calls" on every available object they can crook in their neck, and how awesome they have been doing the past 2 weeks with eating only solids, I feel so bittersweet.

So the moral of this post? Being home from work for the summer=worrying mom!