Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Reflections on 2007

I feel as if I would be remiss not to sit back and reflect a little on what the past year has dealt us. I remember New Year's 2007...the excitement of thinking about the birth of the boys and getting to meet them. Could I have ever imagined being blindsided like I was?

My top thing to be thankful for in 2008 is my life. I don't mean to sound dramatic, but I've been reading more and more on complete placental abruptions and I need to thank God I was in that hospital and we all survived.

As the boys' 1 year birthday approches, I find myself thinking and dwelling more and more on those scary days leading up to and including the birth of the tader tots. Books I have been reading warned that the first birthday can be a time of great anxiety and sadness, and they were right. My mind can't help but drift back to "what was going on one year ago today?"

Even looking through old pictures can be upsetting. D was awesome to take a ton of pictures after the birth, including one of me as they wheeled me through the NICU, half comatose, to see the babies. I remember blurry blobs, being so scared, and in so much pain. I didn't even know he was there.

It's hard to look forward. Sometimes when you have a preemie, it's hard to imagine what they *will* be. I wouldn't have guessed they'd be waving bye bye at the end of this year. Or feeding themselves puffs, or sitting. And as I look forward, I anxiously await what this year will hold: walking, first words, and many more exciting developments.

It's hard to look forward without first looking back.

No comments: