Any parent of a child with special needs will tell you that their child tries SO HARD. I mean, my own children are constantly trying...they want to make others happy and they want to do their best.
It's been hard for us because the boys have been "trying really hard" and looking pretty "typical" at special needs preschool...and then promptly unraveling afterwards at either daycare, or more likely home. Long nights of sobbing kids have left me exhausted.
I spoke with one of their teachers and explained: we want to try to PREVENT them from having trouble, not deal with the issue when they are melting down, sobbing hot messes. My point only sorta made its way across.
I am scared to death. My kids will be 5 in February, and their IEP will be up for review. Currently we have therapy almost every day, they wear things like weight belts and tension vests, and we make a host of accommodations for them. (We have swings in our house for God's sakes!) And everyone says "they look so typical" and "they are doing so well." Of course they do! That's the point!
In reality, they are always going to have SPD. They will flourish with help, but struggle without it. It was only a few short years ago that Summy didn't make eye contact or hug or kiss us. That Jack almost bit through his tongue and got an incident report daily from daycare because he was getting hurt so much.
I am so afraid of the great unknown. It's awesome they appear so "typical," but they are always going to have SPD.