Sorry to have been MIA so long, I was pretty sick this week.
Have you ever wished for your kids to have special needs? I know I didn't. On Tuesday we have our first meeting with the school district about the boys being tested to qualify for special needs preschool.
I know many people think that "special needs" means mentally disabled. It's a blanket term that can describe many things. I was pretty hurt when a family member told me this week that they don't think the boys have special needs, or really any "needs" at all. I use this blog as my outlet, but I will freely admit it is read by family members. However, I have to use this place to vent my feelings. It hurt very much. I believe that this statement was based on the thought that "special needs" means that my children are mentally disabled. They are not. However, they have diagnosed issues, and developmental delays. That is certain. And to hear this statement as we prepare to have this important meeting is frustrating and hurtful.
I know it is my job to educate. I know it is my job to be compassionate. But part of me (the mama bear part?) is mad as hell. Until you live it, you have no idea. It is heartbreaking to me to think that my kids might not ever enjoy playing in the snow, Jack might not ever be coordinated enough to play competitive sports, and Summy might always struggle with anxiety and fear. Today we went to our local science museum and Summy became panic stricken. The room we entered had a large, spinning propeller and he was so afraid, he ran screaming the other way as fast as possible. He was shuddering and shaking for 20 minutes.
I pray the boys qualify. They need it. Sometimes I find it so hard to explain sensory processing disorder to friends and family. Sometimes I get tired of people telling me "it just seems like they are so normal." I wonder why their therapists, and doctors, and teachers would express concern if there was nothing there.
It makes me cringe to read on the evaluations "at the level of an 18 month old." It tears me up. But then we move forward and do something about it. We have to.